To: My Mother

Mental Illness ⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I held on to this story for so long, embarrassed of what I couldn’t face head on. 10 years and counting I’ve watch the demise of my mother. When I was younger I just thought it was a mood swing or maybe I was just so wrapped up in myself I didn’t see the signs. But when I play back my memories of her good and bad I can’t help to think how she got her. ⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Mental Illness is the highest in women, from the records of the census bureau.

How and Why? (My idea) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Have we ever considered the overwhelming feeling of having the world on your shoulders. Trying to stay afloat seems impossible especially when you feel alone in this world caring for you and a new baby. ( this is me understand her) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Becoming a mother is honestly when I place myself in her shoes. I hate that in reality it took me so long to do so. I wasn’t in the space to see how she was effected only myself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ To feel alone I think is the start, overwhelmed by life’s expectations, and sense of feeling stuck. Is a real feeling. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Understanding: ( I think it’s one hardest thing in the world to do in my opinion ) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ My mother has never received diagnosis, refuses medical attention. she’s unable to see me for who I am at times because of this illness and As much as it hurts I know its not on purpose, It’s an illness. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I write these posts to let you and others know you’re not alone. I believe the more we talk and really understand SELF we begin the real work. ⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

If you ever wanted to know how I got here; Its from the village I came from and the one I want to create. #awareness Be Well, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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